Helping Teens Who Cut by Michael Hollander

Author:Michael Hollander [Hollander, Michael]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781462528745
Publisher: Guilford Publications

HELPING TEENAGERS CHANGE: A CRITICAL BALANCING ACT

Therapists who work with adolescents have to be able to relate to them without losing their adult perspective. To be effective, I need to hold multiple perspectives (i.e., think dialectically) and continuously move back and forth between direct, honest communication and genuine curiosity and interest. Adolescents are notoriously allergic to phoniness and pomposity, and they will quickly become disenchanted with a therapist who is stiff and rigid, regardless of how knowledgeable that therapist may be. Therapists need to listen to their adolescent patients as if their story were the headline of the day, all the while knowing that tomorrow’s paper will have a new headline. I sometimes think that working with adolescents is like walking a tightrope over a large tank that is divided in two. If I move too close to trying to be the adolescent’s buddy in the service of establishing the relationship, I render myself useless as a resource and fall into the side of the tank that’s full of sharks. But if I come across as a know-it-all adult, the kid tunes me out and pushes me into the other half of the tank, this one filled with piranhas. The key is to strike a balance between being seen as someone who has something to offer and being seen as someone who has something to learn. I am most effective with my adolescent patients when I listen to them as if their story were the headline of the day, knowing that tomorrow’s paper will have a new headline.

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